Well I find myself in the midst of a conundrum. I really want to do something, I know that it may be fun and bring me business, but at what cost? The ethics of the people involved are in question, I try not to judge them but find there is no way around it. At least so far as to decide if I want to do business with them. They look down upon me for wanting to do things the way our state and local government want things done.... meaning proper permits and certificates. I guess it is kind of like drinking and driving, sure you may do it all the time but there is hell to pay when you get caught! So most of us obey the law and don't. I have been belittled for paying a fee to use some one's studio for classes when I could use theirs for free. First off this studio has all it's proper papers, yes I will pay a fee for that, electric, heat, a/c, restrooms, running water, yes I will pay a fee for that, Helping a small struggling business to STAY in business locally 3mi from home so I have a place to work yes I'll pay a fee for that!
Can't believe these other people don't see that they are the parasites.... they want all the city services to be given, but they don't feel they need pay for building permits, certificates of occupancy (needed for ANY business that have customers that come to them) city business licenses. They say it is just another way for the city to take their money. They want to make noise about other businesses that are not good for our industry being too close but when both businesses are in actuality illegal, what can you do? One of them has the right name on the tax ID, but the numbers on street not right and wrong city? How do you justify that? You don't have to until you are caught, they say they will plead ignorance, what happened to " ignorance of the law is no excuse"? Judging? No! just the facts. They are responsible for their own actions.... as am I.... What to do. I would like to say it is all so easy, it looks like an easy decision, and in fact it should be, here comes the "but", I do not have the money to open, buy or rent space of my own or the time needed to generate enough business to justify the expenditure. I do enjoy the company of the others and we have lots in common and like to do allot of the same things when not at work, and with a few, but big exceptions have close to the same ethics, politics and views on many things.... Except this. Part of me is in fear that I will loose the friendship if I stand firm in my convictions, part of me says "so what"? "Do you need them if they think this is ok"? Well I am human after all. I do have one friend who feels as I do about this and has also offered her home as a place to do classes, and a nice home it is too! I will be doing classes there also. the other "friend" can't see that she is offering me a poison apple, more like doesn't WANT to see. I feel as though they have so much personal work to do and there is the need to BE a friend and offer support and what ever guidance I can to help them in their quest, but I also fear they are not ready to let go of some of the behaviors that contribute to their current situation..... not necessarily ready to DO the work.
I KNOW there is a place after this and I now need to be on the path chosen for this body, in this lifetime, if I do not want more strife and struggle I must stay on my path.... sometimes I think I need a fence so I don't wander!
I am sure for one reader, I am preaching to the choir....
Anyway, just workin to keep the path in sight!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
All things NEW
Well here we are at a new year! Do I have any resolutions? Well no, they are more like goals.
I have some new personal work this year, I'm sure there will be more but 2 days in I knew I should be working on my relationships with those I consider my "friends". Are you really my friend if I have to call or write you every time we have contact? does the phone not work both ways? When I invite you over and say you will come, then don't and don't call .... for weeks then say something lame like "oh I laid down to watch tv for a Minuit and fell asleep" .... doesn't this at least warrant an apology the next day or later that day or evening?... I tend not to pay so much attention, figure it is not intentional or personal, but when it happens over and over I have to wonder..... is it personal? If not why do I keep putting myself out there? It never fails to hurt my feelings yet I have ALWAYS been there for this family, when ever they need, I have been there from Illness to birthing babies to the helping hand during times of poverty, and in times of great personal pain as well as many, many happy times too.....
So this year I am working to figure out why I do this and what I can do to stop it!
Am I so desperate for companionship that I will do anything?.... NO! So it must be something else, I am sure it is connected to the boundary issues I know I have...... knowing when to say when so to speak. I seem to have a handle on most of the areas where this is an issue... all but this one.
I want to be a better wife... not that I am a bad one, but there is always room for improvement. Most of this is things about myself not the relationship.
We all deal with sexual issues as we get older, though now along with some of that I have had surgery and need to start over, it is not something you can just dive into like a chilly pond! My husband is great and we are working through this ...again..... this is not the first time but we are no longer in our 30s or nearly as fit ha ha. we truly a team and for that I am grateful! So I do owe myself, him and our marriage some time to see where I can do better, I have spent allot of time improving myself as a human being, so this year I will point some of that energy into making my marriage stronger and better than it is now, and it is already quit good. We are planning for our not so much retirement, but for the day when we work because we want to not because we have to.
We cut our debt in half last year, we won't be quite as aggressive this year, we know we can't do another year with out some recreation, with the change in the economy our income went down shortly after agreeing to terms that made the year real tough.... but it will be worth it! I think this year we will go slower and be a bit more comfortable.... sometimes you just need a rest!
I have a business starting up this year, and will publish the website this month so my last goal of 2010 is on track and started the year with a few bucks in the bank, and my husband has 3 interviews for a new position at work today!
HELLO 2011! SHIFT happens! Lets fly!!!!
I have some new personal work this year, I'm sure there will be more but 2 days in I knew I should be working on my relationships with those I consider my "friends". Are you really my friend if I have to call or write you every time we have contact? does the phone not work both ways? When I invite you over and say you will come, then don't and don't call .... for weeks then say something lame like "oh I laid down to watch tv for a Minuit and fell asleep" .... doesn't this at least warrant an apology the next day or later that day or evening?... I tend not to pay so much attention, figure it is not intentional or personal, but when it happens over and over I have to wonder..... is it personal? If not why do I keep putting myself out there? It never fails to hurt my feelings yet I have ALWAYS been there for this family, when ever they need, I have been there from Illness to birthing babies to the helping hand during times of poverty, and in times of great personal pain as well as many, many happy times too.....
So this year I am working to figure out why I do this and what I can do to stop it!
Am I so desperate for companionship that I will do anything?.... NO! So it must be something else, I am sure it is connected to the boundary issues I know I have...... knowing when to say when so to speak. I seem to have a handle on most of the areas where this is an issue... all but this one.
I want to be a better wife... not that I am a bad one, but there is always room for improvement. Most of this is things about myself not the relationship.
We all deal with sexual issues as we get older, though now along with some of that I have had surgery and need to start over, it is not something you can just dive into like a chilly pond! My husband is great and we are working through this ...again..... this is not the first time but we are no longer in our 30s or nearly as fit ha ha. we truly a team and for that I am grateful! So I do owe myself, him and our marriage some time to see where I can do better, I have spent allot of time improving myself as a human being, so this year I will point some of that energy into making my marriage stronger and better than it is now, and it is already quit good. We are planning for our not so much retirement, but for the day when we work because we want to not because we have to.
We cut our debt in half last year, we won't be quite as aggressive this year, we know we can't do another year with out some recreation, with the change in the economy our income went down shortly after agreeing to terms that made the year real tough.... but it will be worth it! I think this year we will go slower and be a bit more comfortable.... sometimes you just need a rest!
I have a business starting up this year, and will publish the website this month so my last goal of 2010 is on track and started the year with a few bucks in the bank, and my husband has 3 interviews for a new position at work today!
HELLO 2011! SHIFT happens! Lets fly!!!!
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