Seeker2Seeker...

Tyrany is an inside job,freedom from guilt and regret is possible when you become one with your life's mission

Monday, July 8, 2013

Well I know it as been a very long while since I have been here.
Many things have passed through my existence, I have learned and seen many things.
 I want to get here more often and try at least to put something up once a week.....

Have you ever said to yourself " what am I doing? where am I going with this... whatever?
 I am in such conflict with life at this time, I so wish to pursue my profession of helping others be healthy and live an easy life, but society does not see things as I do.
First off I think it is very wrong to profit from the illness or misfortune of others.
Secondly I find it distasteful to market my business as anything but overall health care.
  I am a Masseuse, now called a Massage Therapist. People in my profession want to ditch the Masseuse title because prostitutes use the name loosely to describe what they do... HMMM I have said in professional publications that I like my title and those people only use the term because we let them! I see the term "Massage Therapist" in the same light as "Domestic Engineer" Like you want to be seen as more professional.
I am also a certified professional Aroma-therapist. While much of the work I do with Essential Oils has nothing to do with the olfactory that is the title I am given.... Again I prefer a different one.... Essential Oil Therapist! I make massage oils, Soaps, balms and salves for many uses.
I use Essential Oils in concert with massage for overall wellness. I like to have my clients come once a week, thus I charge far less than most therapists.... this gets me all kinds of grief from the $65 and up crowd. I feel that if I charge a small amount, it allows my clients to come more often. I do not desire an office full of people I will never know because either they will come once a month or quarter year because that is all they can afford for their "luxury treat". I do desire a small practice of a hand full of people who understand that massage is healthful , and wish to be as healthy as naturally possible, without having to choose between food and body maintenance.
BODY MAINTENANCE Massage does several things for your physical body. It helps your body functions like regulating blood pressure, helps you control stress and the effects it has on your body, supports your immune system and promotes healing by keeping your lymphatic system in good working order.
Body Maintenance also includes exercise, proper diet and good mental health.
MENTAL HEALTH There are many facets  to mental health. many people suffer depression and don't know that they can control the "mood" they are in with out drugs, because our current medical philosophy is .... there's a pill for that... Well I practice yoga and I say "there's a pose for that". When you begin to do yoga, It really is important to  understand that is about more than just the physical poses. The mental health side is the learning to go inside, and think only about what you are doing, be just the body. FOCUS on what you are doing, not all the things you could, or think you should, be doing instead. It does take a while to learn to do this, but once you do, you will begin to notice that not only does your body feel better but so does your mind. Breath is also important. The BREATH WORK in yoga has specific duties and outcomes too. Some are powerful and bring heat and cleanse, some relax, some reset the natural brain patterns, some are instrumental in controlling pain....
AROMA THERAPY has both mental and physical uses, Essential Oils are not really oils at all, but the volatile products of plants. The aroma part works largely in the lymbic area of your brain, and the physical side is cellular, working with every cell in your body, and your central nervous system. There is also a Spiritual side of Aromatherapy though many see the spiritual and mental as the same or hand in hand if you will.
DIET First we should eat to live not live to eat. With out going into obesity, we need to feed our bodies fuel. There is a lot to be said about this and how it should be done. There are many things we THINK taste good, and we want to gorge ourselves on these things for a myriad of reasons other than maintaining our bodies and promoting health. This is NOT to say we shouldn't also have things we like but they should not be thought of as food! I think that our ethnic make up has a lot to do with how our bodies process what we eat, for instance, if your ancestors are from places where the growing season is too short for wheat, you may not process it well.... in some cases not at all, therefore you might need a grain that is from those areas. Some people are fish eaters and some are more omnivorous and others are largely meat eaters. I look at humans like dogs, we come in many shapes and sizes and colors but just because a Yorkie and a Great Dane are both dogs, it does NOT mean their nutritional needs are the same!
Just food for thought!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

As I stood amongst the Giants, I felt as though I were among friends. There is really no discribing the feeling..... really. They vibrate with such intensity! I "feel" the hush in the forest, sound is muffled yet sharp. Time has no meaning, no place, it is insignificant.
I stand with the Giants at my back and my face to the Sea, is there anywhere I can be this "at peace" on this Earth? If there is, I have yet to experience it. I have gone ther in guided meditations, not directed there but arived there none the less. The first time, I thought it was somewhere else, only to find when I arived there in person, that it really was this place. It is easy to see how some never leave the canopy, and dwell forever amongst the trunks of these mighty Giants. Make their homes in them. I will sleep amongst them again one day with my woodland family. But for now I must content myself with the memory..... and the anticipation......

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Well yes I am still here, lots happening and have had no real things that made me stop what ai was doing to write..... need to make the time to write!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Inner Conflict

Well I find myself in the midst of a conundrum. I really want to do something, I know that it may be fun and bring me business, but at what cost? The ethics of the people involved are in question, I try not to judge them but find there is no way around it. At least so far as to decide if I want to do business with them. They look down upon me for wanting to do things the way our state and local government want things done.... meaning proper permits and certificates. I guess it is kind of like drinking and driving, sure you may do it all the time but there is hell to pay when you get caught! So most of us obey the law and don't. I have been belittled for paying a fee to use some one's studio for classes when I could use theirs for free. First off this studio has all it's proper papers, yes I will pay a fee for that, electric, heat, a/c, restrooms, running water, yes I will pay a fee for that, Helping a small struggling business to STAY in business locally 3mi from home so I have a place to work yes I'll pay a fee for that!
Can't believe these other people don't see that they are the parasites.... they want all the city services to be given, but they don't feel they need pay for building permits, certificates of occupancy (needed for ANY business that have customers that come to them) city business licenses. They say it is just another way for the city to take their money. They want to make noise about other businesses that are not good for our industry being too close but when both businesses are in actuality illegal, what can you do? One of them has the right name on the tax ID, but the numbers on street not right and wrong city? How do you justify that? You don't have to until you are caught, they say they will plead ignorance, what happened to  " ignorance of the law is no excuse"? Judging? No! just the facts. They are responsible for their own actions.... as am I.... What to do. I would like to say it is all so easy, it looks like an easy decision, and in fact it should be, here comes the "but", I do not have the money to open, buy or rent space of my own or the time needed to generate enough business to justify the expenditure. I do enjoy the company of the others and we have lots in common and like to do allot of the same things when not at work, and with a few, but big exceptions have close to the same ethics, politics and views on many things.... Except this. Part of me is in fear that I will loose the friendship if I stand firm in my convictions, part of me says "so what"? "Do you need them if they think this is ok"? Well I am human after all. I do have one friend who feels as I do about this and has also offered her home as a place to do classes, and a nice home it is too! I will be doing classes there also. the other "friend" can't see that she is offering me a poison apple, more like doesn't WANT to see. I feel as though they have so much personal work to do and there is the need to BE a friend and offer support and what ever guidance I can to help them in their quest, but I also fear they are not ready to let go of some of the behaviors that contribute to their current situation..... not necessarily ready to DO the work.
I KNOW there is a place after this and I now need to be on the path chosen for this body, in this lifetime, if I do not want more strife and struggle I must stay on my path.... sometimes I think I need a fence so I don't wander!
I am sure for one reader, I am preaching to the choir....
Anyway, just workin to keep the path in sight!

Monday, January 3, 2011

All things NEW

Well here we are at a new year! Do I have any resolutions? Well no, they are more like goals.
I have some new personal work this year, I'm sure there will be more but 2 days in I knew I should be working on my relationships with those I consider my "friends". Are you really my friend if I have to call or write you every time we have contact? does the phone not work both ways? When I invite you over and say you will come, then don't and don't call .... for weeks then say something lame like "oh I laid down to watch tv for a Minuit and fell asleep" .... doesn't this at least warrant an apology the next day or later that day or evening?... I tend not to pay so much attention, figure it is not intentional or personal, but when it happens over and over I have to wonder..... is it personal? If not why do I keep putting myself out there? It never fails to hurt my feelings yet I have ALWAYS been there for this family, when ever they need, I have been there from Illness to birthing babies to the helping hand during times of poverty, and in times of great personal pain as well as many, many happy times too.....
So this year I am working to figure out why I do this and what I can do to stop it!
Am I so desperate for companionship that I will do anything?.... NO! So it must be something else, I am sure it is connected to the boundary issues I know I have...... knowing when to say when so to speak.  I seem to have a handle on most of the areas where this is an issue... all but this one.
I want to be a better wife... not that I am a bad one, but there is always room for improvement. Most of this is things about myself not the relationship.
We all deal with sexual issues as we get older, though now along with some of that I have had surgery and need to start over, it is not something you can just dive into like a chilly pond! My husband is great and we are working through this ...again..... this is not the first time but we are no longer in our 30s or nearly as fit ha ha. we truly a team and for that I am grateful! So I do owe myself, him and our marriage some time to see where I can do better, I have spent allot of time improving myself as a human being, so this year I will point some of that energy into making my marriage stronger and better than it is now, and it is already quit good. We are planning for our not so much retirement, but for the day when we work because we want to not because we have to.
We cut our debt in half last year, we won't be quite as aggressive this year, we know we can't do another year with out some recreation, with the change in the economy our income went down shortly after agreeing to terms that made the year real tough.... but it will be worth it! I think this year we will go slower and be a bit more comfortable.... sometimes you just need a rest!
I have a business starting up this year, and will publish the website this month so my last goal of 2010 is on track and started the year with a few bucks in the bank, and my husband has 3 interviews for a new position at work today!
HELLO 2011!    SHIFT happens! Lets fly!!!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Fa la la la la

Well here it is, another  year ending and the people come out like ants in a swarm to spend themselves into even further debt for stuff that for the most part is unneeded, unwanted, and most likely purchased by obligation. A sad view of Christmas? Yes but it is what we have become! I see all around me people buying gifts for people they barely know because it is "expected" of them. Buying gifts for the children of their child's new, live-in's children, whom they've never met and may never see again, Your hair dresser, what do you give your door man, your children's teachers?.... and what do you do when they no longer have just one? Nieces and nephews? just those who live near you and you will see? just those who actually know or like you? All of them? None of them? And the there are the friends.... and their children and perhaps grandchildren.
Do you wonder what would happen if you stopped forced gifting? What I mean by forced is, the gifts you give because the date tells you to birthdays, Christmas, Anniversary's, Valentine's day? what if we went back to giving a gift of the heart, not so much the wallet, when we felt moved to give something?
Could we be loosing the meaning and good feeling of giving because we "have to"?
I resent having to buy stuff for kids who don't even speak to me unless they are told to or because they want a present for some "date" on a calender. 
Don't get me wrong! Oh no! I love to give presents! but those that I do give to, know they are likely to get stuff all year rather than on just those days, I feel joy in giving. When I give something and the recipient  is truly thankful or appreciative, when they light up with excitement even if it is cheap, because it is "them" or they see it made me think of them, as well as those things I give because someone wants something they can't afford or justify the expenditure even if its 20.00.
I like the spirit of giving, I like the Christmas spirit, it just means something different to me.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Changes

Change is in the air! It is apparently time to have new and different energy in my field.
I finally figured out what I was supposed to see in all this time down.
For one, be true to yourself in everything you do, it is ok to assess what others want and need from you but you also have to look at what's in it for you..... not in the way you might think.... But in the way of does this feed my soul? or does it eat away at my soul? do good things happen to me me when I do things that feed my soul? for ME yes! It is not always easy to do this but no one ever said it would be.  Sometimes our lessons lie in those times that are hard, we are reminded how small AND how great we are. We are often being challenged to put need above want..... and to define the difference between the two. Too often we get very confused on this issue..... we want something so badly we treat it as a need then we get into trouble......
Do I NEED more money.... More anything?   NO!   If I NEED anything it is LESS!!!!
No matter how much or how little we have had, we have always been happy, but the more money we have, the more stuff we have, and the more stress we have!
I have traveled this country on my thumb with only the clothes on my back and it was grand! Now I have so much I can barely go on a 2 day vacation!
My house right now is allot like my brain.... has allot of really cool stuff surrounded by allot of trivial BS! I hope in the process of learning to forget the stuff that doesn't nourish my soul, I also learn to let go of the clutter....I keep everything..... thoughts, events, mementos of events.... the most precious moment of my life with my husband did not make the wedding tape, we said " some things are best kept as memories".... Need to work on that concept as a life plan.... don't need old concert tickets, arm bands from other festivals.... Every time I get rid of stuff I just get more stuff.... where does it stop?


I have also found that I am good at what I do and do not need to stand in the shadow, or bask in the glow of another to be seen or appreciated. I do not need outside validation..... well ok still not weaned off that completely but I have learned to know my own value.
So it is time for me to get out of what ever bubble I have created for myself and stand in my own power and be who and what I was meant to be. It has taken many years to teach me that I CAN"T do things, lets hope it is a somewhat faster process to show me that I can